the big 0-3

I've been dreading hitting the big 3-0 this year so much that Grace's big 0-3 kind of snuck up on me. Last week, I'm sitting at my desk at work, frantically trying to squeeze major revisions on an 8-page layout into the afternoon and listening to Keane on my iPod to keep myself sane when the sappiest song that ever did exist comes up in the shuffle...Tim McGraw's "My Little Girl". And this mama had a hard time not losing it.

Today, Grace turned three. Three. Three years old. It probably seems like a lifetime to her (because, well, it is her lifetime!) but for me it feels like...about...a second.

Everyday as she explains to one of us that "we need to just wait until he opens it and then we will see" or "you will get your turn in a minute if you are patient" or "I'm going to sleep now and when I get up, you are not allowed to call me Skinny Mini anymore", I wonder where my little baby has gone.

Such the little grownup she is. So grownup that she feels the need to rummage through purses or get into makeup every chance she gets. So grownup that she insists on being the helper and cleaning the floors or pulling up a chair to help cook. So grownup that she jumps at the chance to discipline her brother whenever she happens to catch him doing something. So grownup that she will explain the ways of the world with her immense vocabulary to those who are willing to listen. So grownup that she successfully chews gum. So grownup that she immediately recognizes when she's upset someone with her actions.

Yet still little in many ways. So little that when she recognizes she has upset you, she feels so bad that the crocodile tears come out and you couldn't possibly stay upset. So little that she still gets joy out of helping with basic chores. So little that she still loves to be rocked and cuddled. So little that she still sucks her thumb. So little that she still needs her blankie when she's sad. So little that we had to introduce gum, so she would stop chewing on her blankie. So little that she is shy and clings to Mommy or Daddy when she's around people she doesn't know.

Even though the grownup is slowing starting to outweigh the little, I'm clinging to the little...for as long as I can...because it's just moving way too fast. Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.