second

She was my second cousin. To some people, though, second cousin might as well be fifteenth cousin.

godmamas and godbabies, May 2007

Let me make it a little more clear. She was my second mom. My sister's godmother. The sister my mom never had.


She was ever present in my life from the day I was born. She gave me my first nickname...Beanhead...it stuck for awhile. She let me live at her place in "the city" while I did the intern thing during the summers in college. She threw me showers for the major milestones in my life. She made the trip to Ohio to witness the baptisms of both of my babies.


She made me learn the layout of the greater metro Detroit area using only Dairy Queens as landmarks in all of her verbal directions. She sent me harassment notes from her cat. She sent my cat harassment notes from her cat. She made me help her refine the perfect pronunciation of "oh shit". She taught me how to make my hair fire red in the cheapest, most difficult way possible. She owned the most ridiculous and beautiful pair of fruit shoes. She had me accompany her to take the trash out while she was in the process of making her hair fire red and wearing the fruit shoes.

Diane, Grace and "the shoes", July 2006

She made me admire her for her determination. She went to nursing school when her kids were teenagers...and then totally put up with the rest of the family coming to her for medical advice before actually making an appointment with a doctor. She fought cancer and beat it...the whole time jokingly milking it to get her choice in fast food or to go first in Tripoly.


She taught me to get out and do when you get the chance. She took up deep sea diving in her late 40s and traveled the world to do it. She went hunting with her husband. She returned to the place she grew up and loved once the property she admired since she was a kid went up for sale.

She reminded me that sometimes popcorn and beer are just fine for dinner. And also to never pass up ice cream...or my mom's sheet cake...or sugar cookies (especially the frosted ones).


She sent me the most amazing, comforting card after my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage.

She was my second cousin. She was my second mom. She was supposed to be my kids' "second" grandmother. She was supposed to be there for twenty or so more years so they could know her like I did.


We lost her on Saturday.

My kids will still know her...just not the same way I wished they could. She will still be part of our lives...but not the same as we were used to. Now, at least for a little while, passing a Dairy Queen makes me cry instead of laugh.


I'm missing you, Diane. I know the last part of the journey was awful and exhausting and I'm so happy you are at peace.


But, I'm still missing you.