Last year, the first weeks of school were filled with anxiety, nervousness and worry...for me. Sure, the kids did great, but I was a ball of stress as I sat waiting for the phone call from school that someone had just had an allergic reaction or had just fallen and split their head open on the playground. Of course, as always, I was worrying for no reason. They were safe and secure and I learned to let go and put my trust in the awesome school we've chosen for them.
As the year went on, though, I started to realize how fast they would be exposed to major issues in the world...issues that I worked diligently to keep from seeping into their brains and sparking the very worry that I had for their safety. The day they came home talking about the "bad guy" drill they had at school, I wanted to pack up my family and move them to a desert island. Then I remembered that my kid is allergic to coconuts. So, I regrouped and started to change my ways.
The morning after they told me how they were told by their teachers to hide in their classroom and practice being as quiet as possible so a "bad guy" wouldn't find them, I stopped turning down the radio in the car when the news report came on. If questions ever arose from that news report, I tried to answer them honestly, but tried hard not to scare the pants off of them at the same time.
As much as I would like them to be sheltered forever and believe that the world is all rainbows and butterflies, I realized that, now that they were venturing outside of home without us, they were going to have to start to be aware that there are not so nice things in this world that may affect them or someone they love. It was this summer that they first really learned about why we are so thankful to our soldiers when a young man that I had the privilege of babysitting when he was a smiley little blonde preschooler was killed in Afghanistan. My emotions were visible as I proudly showed my kids the photos and news reports of the hero welcome that my hometown displayed as Brian's body was brought back to be laid to rest.
This year, as we drove to the first day of school, I couldn't help but think of this time of year ten years ago. Kris and I had just gotten married and moved and were excited about our new life together. Then, one month later, the towers fell and my "rainbows and butterflies" perception of the world changed completely. Yes, I'd dealt with tough times before then...medical issues, teenage angst, and my best friend losing her younger brother when he was hit by a car when we were in high school. But, I will admit, I was still pretty oblivious to most world issues. But, that day...well, I'm pretty sure I will always remember where I was and what I was doing as I learned of the news and watched the second plane hit. And this year, on the tenth anniversary of that tragic day, I think I have decided that it is time to share it with my kids.
I want them to know about those "bad guys", but, more importantly, about the heroes that day. I want them to know how it affected us and those around us. I want them to know that someone we went to school with was in those towers and made it out and ran for his life as far as he could. I want them to know that Mrs. Brook was in the city when it happened and fearfully walked the miles back to Brooklyn, unsure of what was to come. I want them to know why those soldiers are at war now. And how patriotism swelled and "I love you" could be heard amongst strangers. I want them to know that we cried and that it's okay to cry and feel compassion for those we don't know personally. I want them to know that I prayed for the families of those lost and the safety of those I love.
But, most of all, I want them to know that we were scared. And that, slowly, but surely, we learned to try to not live in fear. And I want them to learn that every day is a gift.
Okay, yes, I still have my moments where the anxiety takes over, such as those first few weeks of school last year. But, I was truly transformed by that awful day ten years ago and the months that followed, as I'm sure many others were, and I feel like it's time to share that with the two that I have been entrusted to love and comfort and teach.
No comments:
Post a Comment